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The Glow Up Season Podcast

Episode 9 | 10 Things that Helped me Open Up My Heart to Love Again

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asia.hilario

I launched my business exactly 1 year ago today &

I launched my business exactly 1 year ago today & it means more to me than anyone knows.⁣
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In addition to the societal pressure of going to college, I had the pressure of being a child of immigrants & the pressure to become a doctor (or anything in the medical field or engineer or lawyer) coming from my Asian side. ⁣
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Because I didn’t follow that path I never felt like I fit in. I never felt like I was enough. I felt like a failure & that my parents’ sacrifices to move to this country was in vain.⁣
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I dedicated the last few years to get to know my truest, most authentic self- one that wasn’t influenced by society or anyone else’s expectations, & then followed the nudges God gave me that led me to take the leap into becoming an entrepreneur.⁣
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Entrepreneurship comes with MANY failures, many tears, questioning myself more than I could’ve ever imagined, and a level of vulnerability to show my ideas to the world at the possibility of them being rejected. ⁣
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School, society, and the way I was raised programmed me to believe playing it safe was the best way to go & in spite of that I went against the grain.⁣
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20% of businesses fail within the 1st year & not only did I surpass that, Im making double the average 1st-time entrepreneur salary. In the top 10% actually 😌 AND I’m doing it full-time. ⁣
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& if you really know what Im about you know that its not even about the money. I mention this because I was always a hard worker but because I wasn’t a doctor I had nothing to “show for it.” The odds were stacked against me & I beat them.⁣
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And the craziest part is I didn’t really have anyone who believed in me in the beginning. ⁣
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To whoever’s reading this, if nobody believes in the dream you’re after- I believe in you. Go against the grain. If you’re passionate about it, don’t let other people’s fears & projections or society tell you it’s outlandish. Sometimes no one will get your vision because God only gave the vision to YOU.⁣
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Anyways, happy one year to me. It’s been a wild ride but I fuckin love it here. This was my calling all along. I finally feel like I belong. I was made for this shit.⁣

One year down, a lifetime to go. ✈️

I know social media is a highlight reel so I wanna

I know social media is a highlight reel so I wanna go with my usual content and go against the grain.⁣
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I’ve been getting a lot of “omg he totally fits you Asia 😭” & “yall are goals 😍.” And although I appreciate the sweet messages, I wanna shed light on the things people don’t normally talk about.
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When you’re in a relationship, your partner illuminates blind spots. And because we’re both so self aware and know a lot about the mind and how it works (he’s been in therapy for 4 years longer than I have & has probably read more books than me- and mind you I am a tough one to beat in that department 😉)— this relationship has been BLIND 🔦 SPOT 🔦 CITY… my GOD lmao.⁣
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Like we have straight up said things to each other like “yeah… That was definitely an inner child wound 😬😅lol.”⁣
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& because we’re both passionate about self-improvement, we don’t just sweep things under the rug- we tackle things head on. ⁣
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Growth is absolutely rewarding, but nobody talks about how painful it is. ⁣
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These last few months have been tough cycles of:⁣

trigger - resurfaced trauma - healing 🔁

but I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.⁣
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Our partners can unknowingly trigger us and activate old wounds- wounds that we have not fully healed from or even be aware of. ⁣
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Having a partner who’s understanding, comforting, non-judgmental & gives me a safe space allows me to heal my wounds of origin (aka my first wounds/wounds of my past)- ones that once had made me feeling alone, abandoned, unworthy, unsafe, etc.⁣
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What’s different now, and such a blessing, is when they resurface I can reprogram myself to be less reactive to the triggers. We can do this by digging deep, bravely returning to our wounds of origin, nurturing our inner child, providing the support for ourself we wish we had received at that time, and then healing.⁣
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It’s been important work for me but painful nonetheless.⁣
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I say all of this to say that social media makes it so easy to admire the flowers in my garden, and I’m here to remind you that they wouldn’t even be here without all of the rain.🌻

✨ Mental Health Check-In Questions ✨— When’s the last time you had a check in?

Share this post with someone you love 💖

I’m in a magazine! 🤓 Thank you @soeleishsanfr

I’m in a magazine! 🤓 Thank you @soeleishsanfrancisco for the feature! Their magazine caters specifically to San Francisco entrepreneurs and small business owners.

Their goal is to highlight the accomplishments and achievements of small business owners in San Francisco (& surrounding areas).

What an honor 🥰 she an entrepreneur or whatevuh 💅🏼

As June comes to a close, I wanted to post about #

As June comes to a close, I wanted to post about #PTSDAwarenessMonth by debunking a common myth about PTSD. There are far more symptoms than just flashbacks! ⁣
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Additionally, to shed more light here are 6 important facts:⁣
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1. Almost 8 million people in the US have PTSD.⁣
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Almost 8 million people in the country have PTSD, and it’s estimated that 8 people out of every 100 will develop PTSD during their lifetime.⁣
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2. More women than men develop PTSD.⁣
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Both men and women experience traumatic events, but women tend to develop PTSD more often than men. Statistics show about 4% of men develop PTSD at some point in their life compared to up to 10% of women. ⁣
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3. It can take years for PTSD symptoms to begin.⁣
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It can take several months, even years before the symptoms become obvious enough to interfere with your life.⁣
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4. Men and women can have different PTSD symptoms.⁣
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Men and women tend to experience different symptoms related to PTSD. This isn’t always the case, but the symptoms for women are more often related to avoiding anything or any situation that may trigger uncomfortable feelings or thoughts. ⁣
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Women can be jumpier and have more difficulty dealing with the emotions that the triggers or memories evoke. On the other hand, men often become angrier and may turn to alcohol or drugs to help them cope with their feelings. ⁣
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5. Not everyone experiences flashbacks the same way; some don’t have them at all.⁣
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Although they’re the most commonly known symptom, some people only have the memory without the strong flashback feelings and others no flashbacks at all. ⁣
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6. You don’t have to be a trauma victim to develop PTSD.⁣
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Most people who develop PTSD were in a traumatic situation at some point, such as being in a war, a serious accident, or an assault. ⁣
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However, you could also develop PTSD if someone close to you was in a traumatic situation or someone you lost was injured or died⁣
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The more people speak up about PTSD, the more those who have it will know they’re not alone, and in return- this makes it easier to ask for help. ⁣
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Let’s #BreakTheStigma ✊🏼

On Saturday I celebrated another year of life & I

On Saturday I celebrated another year of life & I wanna talk about playing it safe- something I intentionally did NOT do this year. ⁣⁣
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After my blog blew up, people suggested I become a life coach. I did my research & was like wow- a job that has my name written all over it. So I went after it despite my inner critic throwing questions at me trying to keep me from doing it. ⁣⁣
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It said things like “what if you look stupid? What if nobody signs up?” I launched anyways. & my goal was to land 5 clients within 6 months after launch. I landed 5, 7 days after opening my business ‘doors’ & have had over 45 clients to date & haven’t even hit a year of business yet.⁣⁣
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I wanted to leave my 9-5 & pursue coaching full-time. My inner critic was like “girl. You don’t even have enough clients rn.” I didn’t play it safe & left anyways. I now make double than I did at my last job, plus I make my own schedule, call ALL the shots & just as an added bonus, get paid multiple times a week (instead of biweekly- nobody told me how boss that shit was LMAO ayye). ⁣⁣
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Then people requested a podcast. My inner critic was like “It’ll flop. Dont waste your time.”- I didnt play it safe that time either. & now my podcast is ranked in the top 1% in my genre on Apple podcasts in 4 different countries. Top 10 in Nigeria (still cant get over that one lmao).⁣⁣
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I also met the sweetest man who’s my twin flame & Im not gonna lie, my inner critic was so loud in the beginning that I friendzoned him. But after some time I said fuck that, Im terrified but I know whats on the other side of fear. So I left ‘safety’ & the other side was filled with so much joy & love.⁣
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I teach this in my program- our inner critic levels every type of worry at us to keep us in our comfort zone because leaving it is “unsafe” cuz it’s uncharted territory. Our brains were wired for us to survive, not thrive.
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“If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” -Vincent Van Gogh⁣.

“Fear does not stop death, it stops life.” Goodbye to the days I live to play it safe. ⁣I’m gonna make the most of my time here on earth.

Fear is an illusion.

I’m not gonna lie, I never saw myself dating som

I’m not gonna lie, I never saw myself dating someone with a kid. 1- I didn’t know what to expect and 2- I’ve always been fed negative stories which skewed my view and made me ignorant with my preference about it.⁣
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Over the last year I’ve had the absolute honor to watch him in action as a father. ⁣
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From buying books with little girls that look like her across the pages, to buying SILK pillow cases to protect her hair, specific hair ties so that her hair doesn’t get pulled, doing affirmations with her, having the UTMOST patience with her— giving her a space to feel her emotions and sort them out - asking her what emotions she’s feeling and offering her a safe space to express them- EVEN when they’re “negative” emotions towards him. (For example, when she’s mad at him, he sits down & asks her why and talks it out with her without judgement or taking offense to the emotions she’s feeling).⁣
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Holy shit imagine a world where we were given a space to feel and sort through our emotions as kids? ⁣
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And then comes the empowerment. He teaches her not to apologize and that it’s okay to make mistakes. When she spills something or hurts him (on accident), she goes “my bad. People make mistakes.” Or she’ll go “my bad. I’m human!” (Mind you she’s 3 years old guys)⁣
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Imagine a world full of women who are unapologetic.⁣
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When this little girl is complimented, she doesn’t say “really??” When you tell her she’s beautiful she goes “yup. I am. Thanks!”⁣
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Imagine a world full of women who accepted compliments and didn’t deflect them because they either don’t believe it or they don’t wanna feel vain. Imagine a world where women owned their beauty, unapologetically.⁣
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I can go on and on about every tiny bit of detail this man strategically places to ensure this tiny human grows up to be a powerhouse and to feel loved, understood, and heard- something a lot of us (myself included) didnt have growing up.⁣
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Happy Father’s Day to the best dad ever! Children are truly the future. I feel so incredibly blessed to be able to witness you change the world by raising this little Queen. And not to mention, give the world to her. 🌎 ❤️⁣
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Love you both dearly. You are celebrated everyday!

Just love & fly shit over here 😌 - Did a phot

Just love & fly shit over here 😌

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Did a photoshoot for @absentminded.apparel this past weekend & their line drops this Saturday (coincidentally the same day of my bday)!

“Since Juneteenth is now a federal holiday now, you may see a lot of Juneteenth merchandise in major stores like Walmart or Target. Please buy your Juneteenth clothing from local black owned stores or black-owned online stores.”

If you know any black-owned businesses (or if you are one) tag them in my comments + the type of business/what they sell.

Let’s celebrate Juneteenth by supporting black-owned 🥰

Hi, just your daily reminder that we are just now

Hi, just your daily reminder that we are just now recovering from a year long global crisis in which not only our physical health was at stake but our mental as well and we collectively suffered loss of normalcy, sanity, and sadly for some of us, our loved ones too.⁣
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Be kind to yourself. It’s okay if you don’t have the “summer body” you wanted to have when the world opened back up.⁣
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In fact, this is an old photo of me (only posting an old one because I have yet to party near a body of water & take updated ones) and I look at this with inspo that ima bounce back *when I’m ready* and not looking at it with guilt or shame. ⁣
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I encourage you to do the same with your old bikini photos. ⁣
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There is also no rush for me to get back to this because I am currently recovering from a mental health break, working on launching new services for my business, running a top ranking podcast, facing and undoing generational curses, all while simultaneously healing women therefore healing the world. ✨⁣
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I don’t know what you’re juggling at the moment, but sis there’s no rush to get back to that bod. Shieeeeet, you don’t even HAVE to get back to that bod. ⁣
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You’re beautiful and a bad bitch in the bod you have now.⁣
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I’m getting back to this bod (eventually) because I love what working out does for my body internally, not to get back to it for the aesthetics (although it’s a plus 😝).⁣
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That is all. Thanks for coming to my Tedtalk.⁣
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Love you Queen

Idk who needs to hear this but you are NOT too sen

Idk who needs to hear this but you are NOT too sensitive!⁣
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Telling someone they’re “too sensitive” is a form of emotional invalidation. The point isn’t to blame others who may have said this to you- their inability to tolerate emotions most likely comes from their own histories and traumatic experiences. ⁣
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However, their history shouldn’t be an excuse for you to accept their behaviors.⁣
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Growing up it was always “fix your face” “stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about” or even “ugh, here we go. What now?” (When I expressed any ‘negative’ emotions)⁣
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We were forced to suppress our emotions, and that’s why as adults we have a hard time expressing them, and on top of that, have a hard time communicating/setting/maintaining boundaries because of it.⁣
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Showing, expressing, sitting with/feeling your emotions is a sign of STRENGTH. ⁣
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Never apologize for being too sensitive or too emotional sis 🗣⁣
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Humans were literally created to have emotions and to feel deeply. ⁣
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You should be treasured. ✨⁣
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—⁣
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If you resonated with this post, you’d love Episode 8 of my podcast! “L

“Your Emotions Serve a Purpose”- I talk about what helped me welcome & feel my emotions. ❤️

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